The Art of Giving: A Lesson Learned through the Hope of Grieving Hearts
Devotional
“A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great.” Proverbs 18:16 (NIV)
“Mr. DM” and I kept in touch sporadically after The Non-Surrection at the Capitol January 6, 2021. God had placed him and his boys on my path that day as protectors and big brothers to watch over me. I later learned his youngest daughter, “NM” was battling cancer, when he had asked for prayer for her.
I added NM to the list of names on my prayer mirror in my bathroom. The mirror reminded me of who I needed to pray for each time I got ready for work or bed, or other random times. It also reminded me who I needed to check in with to see if the prayers had been answered.
On several occasions, when I would check in with the people on my mirror list, I would find the prayers, in fact, HAD been answered.
Mr. DM would send updates on NM every so often. She had a Caring Bridge site that I failed to ever visit. I was getting text updates from her dad, so I just never ended up visiting it. I don’t know why.
My imagination always assumed NM was a brunette and an older looking 25 year old. Again, I don’t know why.
In early June, 2021, I cleared off the prayer mirror after it had just gotten too jumbly and chaotic.
On June 28, 2021, I looked at the blank mirror and remembered the names on it. I thought of NM and realized I had not gotten an update in quite some time. The thought crossed my mind that maybe it meant she passed. I knew I needed to check in.
I texted Mr. DM, “Hi Mr. DM….! I haven’t heard any updates on NM…. recently and was thinking about you guys. How is she doing?”
I had a gut feeling…
The next morning, while I was at work, I received a text from Mr. DM apologizing for assuming I was keeping up with the CaringBridge site and for not updating me. He told me she had gotten a blood transfusion on May 24th and developed a lung infection that night. She passed away May 27th.
I felt like a jerk. I never checked out her CaringBridge site. Had I, I’m not sure I would have handled her passing well. I get really awkward about death and feel stupid sending condolences to families. I can’t know their pain and “I’m sorry for your loss.” always sounds so lame and severely inadequate.
I did not want to send a rushed response text back in regard to something so personal and heartbreaking so I went to work putting hay down for the sheep.
Feeling guilty, I wondered how I should respond. I prayed about what I should say and, in the middle of covering sheep turds with hay, I saw something beautiful.
I saw a young, blond, girl with a beautifully infectious smile in Heaven. She was so excited that she was getting to help prepare her parents’ place in Heaven. Both hands were up in sort of a quirky, celebratory gesture. She held a spade in her right hand and was super excited about the flowers she was planting for them.
Words can’t begin to describe her excitement and exuberance…or her smile! The feeling I got was that she was so excited for her family to see what she had found and so excited the she got to be a part of making it great for them.
I was super excited! Never in my life had I been excited to offer condolences to a grieving parent. And never in my life had I seen a vision, or whatever you want to call it, like this.
God occasionally reveals things to me, and this time, He showed me something I wouldn’t have imagined. Remember, I had always pictured NM as a brunette, yet here in the vision, she was bubbly, beautiful, and blond.
I planned on texting Mr. DM after I got off work so I could form my words properly. I hoped the words would be something more substantial than, “I’m sorry for your loss.” However, after lunch and while I was still at work, I checked my phone and found he had texted me a link to her obituary and to her CaringBridge site.
I had a couple of minutes left before I had to get back to work and quickly checked out her obituary. There was a photo on it that was a striking resemblance to who I had seen planting flowers in Heaven while I was covering sheep turds on earth.
“Noooooo.” I thought. “Seriously, God?” The obituary had a 15 minute memorial video of NM in it. I clicked on the link and watched about 3 minutes of it. I quickly realized she was who I saw! That girl was the same one excitedly making preparations for her parents’ eternal home. Blond, not brunette! Same smile, same hair, same youthfulness!
I have never been so excited to talk to someone who is grieving! I sent Mr. DM these texts:
I texted Mr. DM my condolences and relayed my guilt for not visiting the CaringBridge site, but also relayed the beautiful vision I had seen.
I told him of the young, beautiful, blond girl with an infectious smile who was so incredibly excited to be getting his place in Heaven ready for him and how I could see her face. That she was thrilled to be planting for him.
I told him I watched the first few minutes of the video in the obituary and began crying when I realized she IS who I saw!!! Same face, same smile, same hair.
Mr. DM was amazed and asked if he could have permission to tell the story.
“Oh, absolutely!!!” I replied. “I just wish I could relay the excitement I saw in her face. Just pure joy!”
Mr. DM asked me to call him and his wife and I did. It was so great to hear what the things I saw meant to them. I relayed the story again and his wife, KM, let me know the part about the flowers had special meaning.
NM had planted a rose bush by their house for them a while back. KM said the rose bush never bloomed until after NM died. Since her death, it has been blooming like crazy!
Matthew 16:19 says, “…whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in Heaven.” Could the opposite be true? Did she loose the flowers from Heaven?
I could not express how excited she was to get to help prepare a place for them…I just did not have adequate words. KM stopped me and said they completely understood. She began to give me a little insight into NM’s beautiful character.
Apparently, NM LOVED giving gifts and doing things for other people. She would spend hours online looking for the perfect gift then get super excited…”on-the edge-of-your-seat-can’t-sit-still type of excited”…to get to explain to the person opening the gift all the reasons she had for giving it to them.
This made sense to me! This was exactly what I saw!
Getting to lift the spirits of grieving parents has to be one of the highlights of my life. Awkwardness usually creeps in when I try to offer condolences. This time, joy lept in.
How well does God weave our lives together? We started out as random strangers heading to a rally and eventually, stories of the daughter I only met in a vision convinced me to want to give the way she did. On-The-Edge-Of-Your-Seat-Can’t-Sit-Still-Type of Excited Giving!!
I have to be honest, I always looked at gifts as something of a chore; a time consuming, annoyance and so my generic gift was usually wine. It was just easy…unless the recipient didn’t drink and then I had to put some effort into it.
I had never considered the idea that giving gifts could be exciting or even an adventure in getting to know someone better. NM changed how I looked at the process and I found, as I began truly trying to find the perfect gift for someone, that it made me want to know them better. I wanted to learn more about them and, in doing so, found myself connecting more. (I still need work in this area, though.)
Is God calling you to give better? Does He want you to be excited about it? This verse certainly spoke to me…maybe it speaks to you, too:
“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:6-7